Jan 22, 2013

So Ya Wanna Get on the Guest List?

The POV of a Rock & Roll Show Promoter:

My floating you a Guest Pass to tonight's show should be considered a longshot, unless you qualify under at least one of the following tests:

1. You are my Current Employee

2. Your are my Current Business Partner

3. You are my Direct Family Member (as in REAL direct)

4. You are someone with whom I Slept With within the past X amount of time (with X being subject to my discretion) and with whom I am still on good terms (see above about the 'my discretion' part)

5. You are someone with Whom I Am About to Sleep With, and of which this courtesy will move you into the Item #4 camp

If you meet one of those 5 qualifiers, you are then subject to passing BOTH of these remaining tests:

1. You must have actually Spoken to Me within the past two (2) weeks on a totally unrelated matter.

2. You are Dead Broke and would not be able to attend this show otherwise.

If you are still eligible after this exercise, feel free to leave a message on my Voice Mail.

Just call me at the brand new number I just got today!!!!.

(Courtesy Of: Jim Barnett.. thx JB)

1 comment:

Joe said...

Ah, so I need to sleep with you I guess. Let me ask the Mrs how she feels about this.