Jul 19, 2011

Saratoga: 40 Tips for 40 Days

Valuable wisdom from a native Saratogian with five decades of experience at America's home for the great sport of thoroughbred horse racing

1. Best day for filly-watching? Opening Day!

2. Rain? Mass scratches? Go home

3. Class on the grass

4. Never bet the rail out of the 7f chute

5. Don't drink if you're there for serious betting

6. Spot plays vs betting everything that moves

7. Don't dis' the jumpers

8. Belmont grass form doesn't hold up well

9. Ignore the jockeys -- they're all good

10. Be wary of both the rail and outside posts at 5f grass races

11. Follow Pletcher from the paddock to the windows; and listen

12. Loose speed kills -- lay it down.

13. Double-up Tip #12 for route races.

14. Watch for fillies & mares getting distracted, mid-August onward

15. Two pools at the Spa Park -- bring the Form

16. The worst horse tips come from jockeys

17. Trainers are a close second

18. Long race on soft turf? Christophe Clement

19. Siro's is for poseurs, the Horseshoe is for racing fans

20. Come Week #3, avoid 'duck' (winless) trainers

21. Inspect your tab in the Dining Room

22. Golf? Saratoga Lake over Saratoga National

23. Better yet, drive north

24. River rafting in Luzerne - ahhhh

25. Avoid Lake George. You're trying to get away from those people, remember?

26. If you see the Irish barn boys out drinking: run!

27. Best betting opp's? Pick 3's

28. House mates will get on your nerves by Alabama Day

29. If your definition of entertainment is shitty cover bands, you're in luck!

30. Worst viewing spot? Those glorified trailers on the clubhouse turn

31. Sneaky wet-track breeding lines? Lemon Drop Kid and (deeper in pedigree) Cyane

32. OCD lucky first stop upon arrival? Big Red Spring.

33. Most under-rated handicapping tool? Today's track bias

34. Best way to ruin your visit? Visit Caroline Street at 2AM

35. Lost that race? Find a new viewing spot for the next one

36. Blue silks on gray horse is unlucky -- avoid

37. Don't walk away from the self-serve machine without your voucher

38. Washed-out horse = washed-out bankroll

39. Want to sound like a long time local? Call it the race course (not track) and learn the correct way to pronounce Travers

40. Best kept local secret? The Northway southbound entrance ramp off Crescent Ave


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Harry the Hat said...

Funny as sheeet!

Anonymous said...

what I was looking for, thanks

BB said...

can't agree on 7

Funny Cide's Missing Nuts said...

# 41 = don't even think about going to the Racino down the street. You'll never recover from that trip.

Picture a Wal Mart. With slot machines. And a disco lounge.

Anonymous said...

You are so right, Nut Tracker.

Rip said...

How about Cordero in the 9th and Samyn on the Green?

Sorry, I've been sleeping for a very long time.

Anonymous said...

I wlays heard to bet any horse who poops entering the gate.

Railbird Chatter said...

Just make sure his fodder was a mudder. If his mudder was a mudder, too, then lay ot down baby!

Raining Iguanas said...

#1 thing I miss the most at the race course?
Louie's Kitchen and Annabelle's hugs...

Pam said...


I hope they cancel both today and tomorrow because of the awful heat. It is cruel to the horses.

But they won't. Too much money would be lost on opening day