1. Best day for filly-watching? Opening Day!
2. Rain? Mass scratches? Go home
3. Class on the grass
4. Never bet the rail out of the 7f chute
5. Don't drink if you're there for serious betting
6. Spot plays vs betting everything that moves
7. Don't dis' the jumpers
8. Belmont grass form doesn't hold up well
9. Ignore the jockeys -- they're all good
10. Be wary of both the rail and outside posts at 5f grass races
11. Follow Pletcher from the paddock to the windows; and listen
12. Loose speed kills -- lay it down.
13. Double-up Tip #12 for route races.
14. Watch for fillies & mares getting distracted, mid-August onward
15. Two pools at the Spa Park -- bring the Form
16. The worst horse tips come from jockeys
17. Trainers are a close second
18. Long race on soft turf? Christophe Clement
19. Siro's is for poseurs, the Horseshoe is for racing fans
20. Come Week #3, avoid 'duck' (winless) trainers
21. Inspect your tab in the Dining Room
22. Golf? Saratoga Lake over Saratoga National
23. Better yet, drive north
24. River rafting in Luzerne - ahhhh
25. Avoid Lake George. You're trying to get away from those people, remember?
26. If you see the Irish barn boys out drinking: run!
27. Best betting opp's? Pick 3's
28. House mates will get on your nerves by Alabama Day
29. If your definition of entertainment is shitty cover bands, you're in luck!
30. Worst viewing spot? Those glorified trailers on the clubhouse turn
31. Sneaky wet-track breeding lines? Lemon Drop Kid and (deeper in pedigree) Cyane
32. OCD lucky first stop upon arrival? Big Red Spring.
33. Most under-rated handicapping tool? Today's track bias
34. Best way to ruin your visit? Visit Caroline Street at 2AM
35. Lost that race? Find a new viewing spot for the next one
36. Blue silks on gray horse is unlucky -- avoid
37. Don't walk away from the self-serve machine without your voucher
38. Washed-out horse = washed-out bankroll
39. Want to sound like a long time local? Call it the race course (not track) and learn the correct way to pronounce Travers
40. Best kept local secret? The Northway southbound entrance ramp off Crescent Ave
RM
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10 comments:
Funny as sheeet!
what I was looking for, thanks
can't agree on 7
# 41 = don't even think about going to the Racino down the street. You'll never recover from that trip.
Picture a Wal Mart. With slot machines. And a disco lounge.
You are so right, Nut Tracker.
How about Cordero in the 9th and Samyn on the Green?
Sorry, I've been sleeping for a very long time.
I wlays heard to bet any horse who poops entering the gate.
Just make sure his fodder was a mudder. If his mudder was a mudder, too, then lay ot down baby!
#1 thing I miss the most at the race course?
Louie's Kitchen and Annabelle's hugs...
TOO HOT.
I hope they cancel both today and tomorrow because of the awful heat. It is cruel to the horses.
But they won't. Too much money would be lost on opening day
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