Sep 14, 2010

It's a beauti-faux world

Nothing's real, everything's fake, but it's all faux-bulous. Here's proof:

Fake Music:
Vocals tuned into the proper key by scrubbing software. MIDI-generated instrumentation. Adjusting the speed and placement of sampled beats and sounds, then calling it creativity. Put a name like Lady Gaga on it along with a train wreck of a side show and the sheep will bleep.

Fake Women:
Boob jobs and other enhancements. There's a group currently advertised on Craigslist for men who prefer natural breasts. It's labeled as a fetish club.

Fake Cover Girls:
Photoshop as the key beauty secret of the rich and gorgeous.

Fake News:
Disguised as the pursuit of conflict and the cult of personality.

Fake Politics:
Sloganeering, one-liners, talking points, whitewashing, drive by logic, screaming matches, intellectual thought branded as evil and media-propped sociopaths. We're doomed.

Fake Food:

As if the toxic fertilizers, preservatives and flavorings weren't enough to poison us, we now have a real wild card: genetic modification. Yowser. I'll bet it tastes good, though

Fake Life:
Reality TV. Enough said.

Fake Radio:

Playlists pushed through consolidated networks creates the illusion of creativity rising to the top.

Fake Athletes:

Raised like cattle on steady diets of steroids and growth hormones, our on-the-field heroes now resemble a Word Wrestling Entertainment road show. No wonder Vince McMahon's wife has a good shot at being the next Governor of Connecticut.

Fake Communities:
Corporate chain outlets serving as the local coffee shops, eateries, saloons and retail stores. Open space giving way to sprawl. Local media and voices: absent. Malls as town squares. Local art & music buried by Thomas Kincade prints, DJs and cover bands. Rarely an original local idea out there.

Fake Economy:
Nothing new is being made by anyone, so the populace is left trading money back and forth on things like real estate, life coaching, publicity or manicures. Eventually this merry go round has to stop; maybe it already did.

Fake Kids:
They're not really kids because they were ever allowed to learn the world as kids are supposed to do: naturally. So, instead of playing baseball in the field with the neighbors, they're given organized Little League. Or soccer or basketball or kite flying or on and on. Instead of wandering wild in the woods all day, they're put on a bus to take a chaperoned nature trip. Swimming in the lake is now day camp with perched lifeguards. No wonder the only legitimate career option for young people today is the military, public service or the corporate sausage machine: they haven't been taught how to think or act for themselves.


Devo said...

fake blogs

Mr. Salamack said...

An addition to FAKE LIFE:
facebook, world of warcraft, and farmville

Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...